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Machete Betties


 

"Shhh, they're out there somewhere," she whispered, but only inside her own head. She feared they might hear her thoughts, even hear the hairs on the back of her neck that were stiffening.  She wanted to know who they were exactly, but more importantly, where they were exactly. She had only heard stories so far, something about a government experiment and some sort of plan to create a unique group of specialized female soldiers - special op females trained to feel no remorse for either their enemies or even each other. They were supposedly confined to some run-down building outside the city limits which served as both their training ground and their new home. There, the girls were forced to endure the most inhumane tests of endurance, will, and strength. They were psychologically pushed, their minds warped by food and sleep deprivation.  No one knew.

Apparently, one of the observational scientists detected an abrupt change in previous behavior patterns at the 8-month mark. He suspected that individually they were experiencing some form of accelerated evolution, but was at a loss. Physiologically, their brains cells were multiplying, their bodies were streamlining, and their senses were heightening to new levels of human perception.  But the most inexplicable of the phenomenon was their undying loyalty to one another; it was almost frightening to the doctor.

One evening, a guard didn't like one of the girl's remarks.  He isolated her for two days from the others and denied her even a drop of water.   He never stopped the punishment; it was the girls who stopped it for him.  Rumor has it, that the guard was found dead.  His body was found in 15 slices...length-wise cuts that had been made with medical precision.  The weapon was later dentified as a…MACHETE. Apparently the girls escaped on skates.  They left no tread marks, no trail whatsoever.  They say that from that point on, that anyone trying to bring harm to any one of them, would experience the all-out intensity of this renegade group of super females, who are now affectionately known as the MACHETE BETTIES.  They thrive on alcohol, adrenaline, and camaraderie. Mess with them and prepare for utter annihilation.  They move, breath, and strategize as one. Escape from them is inconceivable, defeat...inevitable.  They will not stop - ever!

The word "ever" began echoing inside her head.  She began to wonder why, why she had been so aggressive in that friendly game of derby that beautiful Sunday afternoon.  And then she froze; her blood ran hot. She heard the swoosh of a Machete and then wondered why she was watching her body sail right past her eyes.  She never felt a thing.  The last thing she heard was the sound of her own head hitting the wooden rink floor...Sound Off!

You've been officially warned.  The Machete Betties are ready to take on any opponent...in times of war and/or peace.  Each member of this special ops taskforce is proficient in a number of skills and is a master of all weaponry and fighting styles.  But their weapon of choice?  It's the Machete, that's what they've grown to love.  Shhh...careful now...don't think too loudly, they could be right behind you.

galleries roster
Houston Roller Derby
Becky Booty - CoCaptain
Houston Roller Derby
BushWhackHer
Houston Roller Derby
Chewcifer
Houston Roller Derby
Dixie Cupps #DD
Houston Roller Derby
Major Mayhem
Houston Roller Derby
Miss Lead - Captain
Houston Roller Derby
Private BeenJammin'
Houston Roller Derby
Punitive Damage
Houston Roller Derby
Scarlet O'Hurtya
Houston Roller Derby
The Prosecutor
Houston Roller Derby
Chainsaw Chic
Houston Roller Derby
bout schedule

2008 Season Schedule:
May 10, 11 (away) Roll for the Cure - Irvine, CA
May 18
June 8
June 21-22 (away)
ECE - Philadelphia, PA
June 28 (home) vs Angel City
July 5 (home)
vs NorthWest Arkansas
July 13
August 10
September 14
September 20 - 
Gov's Cup @ - Dallas, TX
September 26 -
Southern Brawl @ San Antonio, TX

 Oct 3-5 - HRD hosts WFTDA Western Divisionals